Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
