She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
how does that bad decision feel?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
