Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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