Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
