cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Come on in and take your pants off
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