I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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