New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
