Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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