I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
