I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
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I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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