I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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