I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
