is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
