I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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