I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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