I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
