so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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