your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
