So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Even my vagina gasped.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Randomize
