lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
