I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
