i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
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Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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