Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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