So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
