Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
