a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
