Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
