Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
