I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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