we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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