I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize