Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
