you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
