I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
