would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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