can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
