Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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