im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We named our party play list daddy issues
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize