Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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