SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
