Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
