addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize