Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
