dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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