i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
