Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
