I wanna bring you to show and tell
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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