Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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