Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
