He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
