is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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