is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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