Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
