David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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