So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
