Betty ford says i'm here all night
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
