Acid is not a monday night drug
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
