I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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