i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
