Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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