i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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