We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
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He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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